The 10 Basic Principles of Quality Communication

28 June, 2012

Most people say they wish to communicate better; in their relationships, with themselves. How about you, how are you doing? Room for improvement?

For me, communication is the essence of your relationships, which I believe is everything in life. Where, and who, would you be in life without your key relationships? It is everything (not almost everything, as I originally thought) because it includes the relationship you have with yourSelf also, which equally involves quality communication.

There is a saying I like which says: the way you talk to yourself is the quality of your life. I couldn’t agree more. And I would add: the way you talk to others is the quality of your life.

I am so very passionate about this as I don’t believe I would be half the person I am without the people I have in my life. I am proud of the relationships I am blessed with - and they are certainly not incidental. I have always viewed relationships as an investment; something which involves attention, nurturing, laughter, truthfulness and the reciprocal permission granted to just be your real Self. And of course, quality communication.

I have worked with a lot of people who say they wish to communicate better in their relationships; personal and work. And I have worked with an immeasurable amount of people who want to communicate better with themselves. To achieve communication of the quality that I feel is necessary to have this quality of life, some attention needs to be paid - in my opinion - to some basic shared principles:

  1. Speaking the truth; diplomatically and respectfully
  2. Security; no matter what you know that person will be there
  3. Non-judgement; everything is OK, including 'mistakes' and ‘failures’
  4. Listening; attending and really ‘hearing’ what’s there (at all times of day and night!)
  5. Laughter; commitment to the experience of joy
  6. Safety; you can fall apart and you are still loved
  7. Compassion; responding to suffering with kindness and refuge
  8. Healthy boundaries; saying no, because sometimes is better for both of you
  9. Challenge; seeing them in the bigger picture, and offering challenge and support for the purpose of growth
  10. Celebrating all achievements, and keeping your own ego out of it

My challenge to you is to see how much you could apply these principles in your relationships, and see what occurs. Some of these principles are skills that need to be learned and practiced. Some of them are simply intentions, which are very simple to act out once you know what they are.

And see how much you could apply them to Self - the most important relationship you will ever have. What would it be like if you committed to the experience of Joy? And treated yourself with true compassion, when things hurt or went ‘wrong’?

I like to try and treat myself the same way I would treat a friend, and expect a friend to treat me. It is the quality of my relationships, and my life. And is of course, always a work in progress.

Would love your comments / feedback, let me know what you think below. Charlotte.

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