The Keys For Doing What You Want To Do

1 August, 2013

Why is it that so many of us know the things we need to do to take care of ourselves, yet doing them is so difficult? Discover the two - and only - keys to success.

I have been working with many of you on this particular struggle (if you see yourself in here I promise you that you are one of many): you know what you want to do - go to bed earlier and get more sleep, drink less, take yoga classes, go to the gym, buy and cook food that is nutritious, have healthy snacks, lose weight, connect with people you care about, make time for yourself, take your supplements, write your blog, say no ocassionally- yet, actually doing them is very difficult indeed.

It would seem simple, would it not? Deep down we all want to be healthy, happy and fulfilled, so why is actually doing the things that support us on this journey so damn hard?!

There is an interesting dynamic that occurs. The more we want to do them and then don't, and the more we notice ourselves not doing them is a cue for our subtle beat up patterns: I should do it, it's so simple why can't I? I can't believe I didn't do it AGAIN! I am never going to do this, what if I can never do it? If it's so simple and I can't do it then how am I going to manage doing something more difficult…. the list - and the self-deflation - goes on.

The very response we have to not doing them as we expect, keeps us in a holding pattern. There's one thing I know for sure: as much as our brain wants to convince us that beating ourselves up works and gets us a better result - it doesn't. Honest. It's a trick of the mind that we all must overcome.

So, what's the alternative? To not give a damn and let ourselves off the hook completely? No. We do need to hold ourselves accountable. And, we need to be able to do it in a firm and gentle way. Here are the two - and only - keys to success in doing the things in your life that are good for you.
  1. Understand why. Why bother? What's the real motivation here? If I do a yoga class, what will it get me? And what's important to me about that? And what's important to me about that? Keep asking yourself and you will eventually get to something significant: freedom, happiness, love, a long life, being the best parent you could be so that the world is a better place. Once you really understand the higher purpose, you make every yoga class equal that. It's no longer just a yoga class, it's freedom. It's no longer one supplement, it's a long happy life. It's no longer a trip to the supermarket, it is being the best parent you could be for a better world.
  2. Develop some coaching internal dialogue for in the moment decision making. This only works once you understand your own motivation. The point is, that you can't make a decision to do something good for you yesterday, 5 minutes ago, or tomorrow. You can only, ever, do it in the present now moment. It's all you have. It's where you're only power is. When I have clients say to me 'but what if I can't keep it up?' I tell them it's an irrelevant worry. So what, you make one decision that's not aligned to your true motivation, you sleep in and miss yoga. So what? You might have had a good reason to. And, instead of spending time beating yourself up, you simple notice in the next available moment, and you start again with a new decision. You can always, always, always, start again - remember this. Examples of coaching internal dialogue could be: OK, I don't feel like it but I am going to go to the supermarket because being healthy is important to me. OK, so I skipped yoga this morning, it's OK because I know I will go tomorrow, I can do this!
Motivation + making decisions in the moment that serve this = sucess. That's it! Nothing more to it.

As always, I love to hear your feedback and how you go. Leave a comment and let's chat. Charlotte.

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